Author: marciaallyn

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

One year ago, “Silent Grief, Healing, and Hope: 15 Inspirational Stories of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Child Loss” was launched to the world. Inside its covers, 15 women share their stories and mine is one of them. It’s a story I’ve told in bits and pieces for 10 years. Because it was literally 10 years ago this fall that I experienced my first miscarriage.

It was important to me to tell my story–you don’t know who else is struggling silently until you share. It creates a safe space for someone to speak their truth. It means that they are not alone. And even though I’ve been an avid reader and writer for most of my life, I learned on a different level the power of storytelling.

Growing up, my family didn’t hang dirty laundry out to dry. We kept the struggles quiet. It took me a long time to change my perspective. I am proud of my contribution to this book and I hope that it works to remove the stigma associated with infertility, miscarriage, child loss, or any other struggle for that matter.

I believe the best way to change perception and remove stigma is to talk about the real issues in a real way.

I am thankful for…

This is a very different Thanksgiving. After a brief glimmer of “normal” over the summer, my girls and I are left wanting more: patios, shopping instead of ordering online, and playgrounds to name a few. Now that the school year has begun and cold and flu season is on the horizon, that brief glimmer is fading as quickly as the days are getting shorter.

I want to allow my girls to have playdates, I want to have family gatherings (that aren’t outside and physically distanced), I want to hug people, I would love to go to a concert, or go out dancing. One of my girls desperately wants to go to Chuck E. Cheese. It’s hard for me to reconcile, so I can’t even imagine what it’s like for kids. I feel the heavy weight like someone is sitting on my chest and the almost panic of isolation or quarantine coming.

But today, on Thanksgiving, I am focusing on being grateful. Hopefully, by focusing on the positive today (and moving forward), we can start to change our perspective. I’m thankful that:

  • First and foremost, we have our health.
  • The schools are open and my girls are back into a routine.
  • We have a place to live and food on the table. Through all of this I’ve been able to pay the bills.
  • We have some wonderful memories from the summer.
  • Technology enables us to still communicate when we can’t visit in person.
  • Above all, we have each other, our family and friends.

This Thanksgiving I celebrate with the girls’ immediate caregivers only to respect the COVID-19 guidelines. I will have to get creative, as I have been, about how to make our fall and winter memorable as well. I’m grateful that my girls love being outside which makes all of this easier.


This Thanksgiving should also be a reminder that we can’t take for granted the progress we made over the summer. We can’t let down our guard, we must continue to protect those we love by being careful. And as difficult as it is to do so, remember to be thankful that we have loved ones to protect from this virus.